Jett Reviews Mosh Pit by Michael Hiebert

Posted: October 8, 2016 in Reviews
Tags: , , , , , ,

Rocktober3

Jett-300x300

So this was billed as a serial about the events leading up to a fatal shooting at a rock (pop) concert. But the bigger tease in all this is the mystery: five people are killed, but only four “go on record.” (Quotes because I’m not 100% certain what that means. Public record? Official record of the event? Or are they recording this for a live album?)

THAT is the story I want to read. Why’s one person’s death covered up? What’s going on here? Who died? Which of the five is it, and why?

And that’s my question. If the author’s going to tease us with this, he’s got to produce something more that leads up to it. He’s got to tie the mystery into what he gives us. But other than the opening, which is pretty cool and – again – sets us up for a story about the shooting and the mystery of what’s happened, that’s not what we get. We don’t even get that rich atmosphere full of the expectation and anticipation that we’re building up to something.

What we get is a short bit about a bunch of different people, few who come alive on the page and rise above stereotypes.

And ten percent at the beginning is the author’s… it feels like a defense. Telling us how long the whole thing is when put together. And other babble that, frankly, I don’t care about. I don’t care about how he struggled to write this, or get it published, or any of that. Save it for the blog tour, man. Don’t put it in your book, and most certainly, don’t start with it.

So that’s the first ten percent. And then the installment ends at 88%, so that we can be teased for the second one. Which we gotta download and pay for. Seven installments at roughly two or three bucks a pop… well, that’s a pretty slick marketing trick.

Except that this one, doesn’t really earn its $1.99 price tag. After all I’ve just pointed out that 22% of the whole thing has nothing to do with the actual story at hand. It’s fluff. And while the opening scene focuses on the mystery, that’s all that does. Which means something like five or ten percent is the story we’ve been promised – the mystery of the shootings and which dead body doesn’t go “on the record.” (Again, still not sure what that means.)

And there’s not a mosh pit in sight. In fact, there’s almost zero Rock Fiction in here. These are ordinary people, doing ordinary things. Which is fine, but what’s it got to do with the mystery? And how about the title? What’s a mosh pit got to do with anything? Melting pot might be a better term to use here ’cause I don’t see any moshing going on, either.

Just… I gotta throw my hands up on this one. We don’t see a lot of Rock Fiction written by men, so I’d had high hopes. And the whole idea of a mystery dead person is really appealing, especially when you factor in the setting. Five people turn up dead at a concert, but who’s that fifth person… what’s their story? Their mystery?

I don’t know. Maybe this just wasn’t told the right way. Maybe it unfolds all wrong. I don’t know. All I know is that it’s not something I’m going to follow up on.

Review copy provided by NetGalley. Thanks for the chance to explore something new.

Edited: Jett had the price wrong, which Michael himself kindly pointed out. I’ve fixed it. –Susan

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Comments
  1. michaelhiebert1967 says:

    Hi,
    Thank you very much for taking the time to review my book. I appreciate your comments and many are very constructive.

    There is one small thing I would like to point out, though. The price of MOSH PIT (as well as the second installment, MEDIA FRENZY) is $1.99, not $2.99. Otherwise, good stuff! I took a couple of minutes to peruse your site. Very nice! I hope your day is great.

    Best,
    Michael Hiebert

  2. michaelhiebert1967 says:

    Hi again,

    Just wanted to let you know that, in part from things you pointed out on your review, the pricing structure for the seven books of THE ROSE GARDEN ARENA INCIDENT has been completely redefined. Once Amazon price matches Smashwords and other sellers, the books will be priced at:

    MOSH PIT FREE
    MEDIA FRENZY. $.99
    80 PROOF $.99
    BALLADS. $1.99
    STALKER FAN. :$1.99
    CRANKED. $2.99
    SWAN SONG. $2.99

    The later books are longer than the earlier ones, and the final two will come out somewhere between 40,000 and 45,000 words each. I think this makes more sense.

    Thank you again,
    Michael Hiebert

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